We all know the drill, and I do believe that pretty much everyone can, and usually does, reach a certain interim number each time they "diet." They anticipate that number, look to reach it within a reasonable period of time, and are also very sure of doing so. But then what? What happens when you reach your "first step" goal? You know you can make it, and you do, but you don't know how much further you can go, and since you never really thought you could go any further, you haven't. Perhaps you hung in there for a little bit, but then you gave in, slacked off and just gradually went right back up. Yoyo anyone? We all have heard this term before, and we all have been on this "elevator" ride. We persist in dreaming that this time will be different, that somehow, miraculously, we will get below that very familiar number; however, if deep inside you don't believe it's possible, then you will keep repeating the same cycle of loss and gain.
We call it yoyo-ing. Usually it's a decent 10-20 pounds per year. It tends to begin during the transition between spring and summer when everyone is on a diet, anticipating bathing suit season. By the end of the summer, when you are just a few pounds up-nothing crazy-you tell yourself that come September you will pull it all together and get back on track. The problem is that before you know it, Halloween turns into Thanksgiving and the festive, food-oriented holiday season is upon you. Come the first of the year, you are back to square one, if not worse, and nervously counting the months you have left to get ready for summer. Just one big yoyo!
Why does it happen? First of all, many of us don't think of ourselves as yoyos, but we are. You see, the yoyo effect happens because you are dieting and taking care of yourself, but only to lose a few pounds. The problem with most happinesslifetime.com weight loss plans is that eventually you have to stop because they don't provide all of the nutrients your body needs over the long haul. In addition, you don't really know how to eat correctly because you never learned what healthy eating looks like. Admit it, you are pretty much off your game the minute a party or a barbecue comes along! The big mistake is thinking that you can handle deviations from your normal day; but you can't if haven't put in the effort to understand what exactly is going on in your head.
When I guide my clients down to their goal weight, I know they have internalized lessons that will inform their food choices for the rest of their lives. Yoyoers don't like to hear phrases like "lifelong choices." They prefer going on a "diet" to lose a few so they can get back to living! The reality that they need to make lifelong changes makes them feel as if they are being handed a prison sentence for a crime they didn't commit! Do you see that looking at this process that way will almost guarantee that you will reach your goal and go right back up?
Why wouldn't you, if you haven't decided that you need make lifelong changes for the sake of your health and overall happiness with the way you look and feel? But here is the thing: it doesn't have to be that bad! Try to remember that the process of losing weight is far more difficult than the process of maintaining your ideal weight. We spend so much time reading and understanding one leg of the journey that we never even get to the more important one. You need two legs to walk this path, and the only thing that will be forever is your weight loss. The things you omit on the way down can actually be added back to your diet, in moderation, once you are maintaining. Moderation is the key to just about everything.
For instance, I used to polish off a pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food every night. Now I have it as an occasional treat. Every few months or so, I go out and buy a pint, telling myself that I will only eat a little, saving enough to snack on for a few days. Ha! After warming it up in the microwave for 30 seconds, making it nice and soft with perfectly gooey marshmallow, I sit down, take a bite, and before you know it, it's gone. Okay, this is not a binge. This is just my way of overindulging once every few months-sometimes longer-and it doesn't mess up my weight. I also know that I can do the same thing the next time I get that craving, as long as it's not the next night! You see, once you have arrived to your goal, then all you have to understand is that you should almost always enjoy healthy, low fat, high fiber foods. Once in a while, you can have whatever food you most crave because you will have achieved balance and you will no longer be driven to binge. The true gifts are balance and moderation: these will keep you at your goal.
The only thing that is sure to sabotage you at this point is not anticipating the very real possibility that you can go right back up. This false sense of security will surely lead you straight back into the world of bad habits and addictions: habits that you might never break, unless, of course, you come to understand what is happening. I can't predict what will bring about individual downfalls because there are as many reasons as there are people.
Here is an example of the yoyo, albeit an extreme one, but it really does encompass so many problematic behaviors that I thought I would share it.
Years ago, when I was in my mid 20s, starving myself and exercising like a crazy person, I worked in a gym where I met Alan. Alan is actually in the Guinness Book of World Records for losing the most weight in the shortest period of time. I met him when he was down and working out with his trainer nearly every day of the week. At the time, I was a personal trainer and taught classes at the gym, so I got to know Alan pretty well. Everyone was so happy about his recent recognition by Guinness, and Alan was very proud and happy to show his photos. At around 550 pounds, Alan had announced his plan to lose the weight in a guest spot on the Dick Cavett show (Alan and Dick were buddies). This was in the 80s, before the gastric bypass surgery, by the way.
True to his word, Alan began a total liquid diet. This made perfect sense to Alan. Since food was the issue, it was easier to avoid it altogether. In record time-literally-Alan proceeded to lose over 350 pounds. I don't recall exactly, but he took the weight off with this liquid diet in something like three to five months. One of the problems with dramatic weight loss like this is the issue of excess skin, and Alan had the most extreme case of this that I have ever seen. Included in his Guinness entry were photos showing the horrific image of Alan's wife standing five feet away from him and lifting his sagging skin off of the floor! Of course, by the time I met him, he was covered in scars from the many surgeries he had undergone to remove excess skin from every part of his body.
So there he was, every day biking away at the gym. If only I knew then what I know now, perhaps I might have helped him. You see, as I stated earlier, no one gains that kind of weight eating to satisfy physical hunger: there is always more to it. In any event, Alan was very dedicated to working out. Actually he worked out obsessively, and if you have been reading my blogs, you will know that all he was doing was transferring his food addiction to an exercise addiction. After months of this, there came the day that Alan didn't show up. A few days passed, and then a few weeks, and still no Alan. People asked about him, but no one knew anything. Seven months after the last Alan sighting, I received a phone call from him. I don't know why he called me, but I was intrigued and complied with his request that I visit him at his home.
I'm sure you know where I am going with this story because, of course, Alan had gained back every pound, and then some. I wanted to cry: not for the weight gain, but for the pain he had to be suffering. Alan asked me to help him by becoming his personal trainer and dietitian. He said that he had spoken to Dick Cavett, and Dick wanted Alan to come back on the show, this time with me, to record his progress, live, before a national audience! He wanted to do it the right way this time. All I could think about was his skin and how much they removed and how it had all stretched out again. Poor, poor, Alan.
I agreed to help him, although, to be honest, I wasn't sure how. I was young, and I was afraid that with that enormous loss and gain his heart might not hold up. We began with Alan telling me what he ate: cases of coke, one or two entire cakes daily. He owned a gourmet deli and he basically ate all day and all night long. He slept downstairs because he was too big to get up to the bedroom. In order to drive he had removed the car's front seat and he sat in the rear passenger seat to make room for his body. He had to sleep near the bathroom because he was diabetic and had to urinate frequently at night. I can still feel the pain, the despair, and the hope that emanated from him that day.
And so we began. Weeks passed and he did well. I was hard to say exactly how well, since we couldn't weigh him unless we went to a meat market and used a harness-type scale. However, despite his progress, the process was grueling, accustomed as he was to rapid weight loss. Since I did not know enough back then to help him explore his psyche and figure out why he got where he was in the first place, we focused exclusively on the desired outcome and Alan was learning nothing other than how to create healthy meals. One month after we began, Alan spoke to his doctor and decided to start the liquid diet again. Again! I was appalled and told him that he was playing with fire. Alan tried to reassure me, and he asked me to support him. I couldn't; I wouldn't. And I stopped seeing him when he began the fast. What kind of doctor would condone something like that? To this day, I can't believe anyone would prescribe a regimen that was so clearly foolhardy.
I hate to keep you in suspense, but I don't know what became of Alan after that. However, I tell his story, extreme though it is, because it is exactly the type of thing we all go through. We want the magic pill that will take off the weight, yet we refuse to acknowledge that the weight will always come back if we don't understand why we eat the way we do. So go ahead and try the latest weight loss craze. But, honestly, if you don't do the emotional work, it's going to be the yoyo all the way.
Berta Prevosti is a weight loss counselor known for transforming the lives of overweight women who have previously given up on losing weight. She has counseled hundreds of women losing thousands of pounds using emotional support and healthy common sense methods.
Berta's expertise has grown to such a point that she can articulate points in a way that she hears at least weekly "I never had it explained to me that way - it all makes sense now". At her clients requests, and as a result of her growing waiting list, she is shifting her practice to the Internet to share her transformations and help more women reclaim the lives and dreams they had given up on. Please go to justloseit.com justloseit.com and sign up for her FREE weekly e-zine packed full of great information and loving support.
